The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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