you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
