i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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