I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
