I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
