Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize