perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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