we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
