I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
