ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
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a search helicopter?!
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
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Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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