Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
