I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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