any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
