im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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