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Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
