I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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