Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
