Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
