He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
don't judge my taste in strippers
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
