At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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