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The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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