hotel room ftw
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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