He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Nicole vs. Life
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
