its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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