wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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