Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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