yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
