I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
