Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
