Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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