oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
