I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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