I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize