i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
