It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
