My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
