when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.