My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.