I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
