and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
my being single is dangerous.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
