I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
you made out with another girl for some wings
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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