I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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