I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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