So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
