Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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