yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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