no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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