I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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