yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i will never coherently bang her
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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