hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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