That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
