I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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