someone owes me an orgasm
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
