Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
