I seem to have left my pride at pride
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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