You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
