what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
