I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
